For some reason i cannot delete this blog. I've been wanting to for a long time but i cant...its become a horrible way of expressing my most repressed depressing thoughts and feelings.
I am determined to keep my life online-free; i uninstalled windows live messenger the moment i left poly, stayed away from the laptop as much as could and spend much time with people i cared about; family mostly, friendships are a treasured though continual struggle for me. I am NOT going to be old, look back on my life and tell my grandchildren I spend half my life having tech relationships (hey that could be a good joke; I was engaged to Fujitsu for 3 years, then we broke up(he literally broke down) now I'm with Dell and having an affair with Samsung), spending half my life online. We're becoming zombies, that's what.
When i dont i spend time immersing myself in stories, or taking up new hobbies, or getting a job that makes me happy. In my case - interacting with kids. There's something about kids that makes my day, everytime. My friend puts it this way better; "when i see the kids, i forget the problems i had and its just bliss, just them and you". haha she's so right. I remember feeling like that too. At my last job when i taught kids with special needs, i was always smiling and happy at work. The feeling you get, when they sit next to you and lean to you so trustingly...or slip their hand into yours when they're happy or excited or scared...or simply just how adorable they are.
I miss them.
I found a few friends at school � they're lovely, I'm so glad to have met them. I hope to have lasting friendships with them. One of them happens to live near me haha!
I hat…I mean I dislike friendship problems in cliques. I'm terrible at dealing at problems that arise, the bigger the group the harder because a problem � such as a simple misunderstanding can be hard to solve mutually because it becomes entangled with many other members of the group.
Ok my focus is:
Do well in studies and career. Keep my friendships the best I can. Bond with my family(immediate and extended). Do and commit to my passions. Remember God with all my heart and soul. Spend my life well for myself and for others that I care for.
Hey that's weird, I don't feel too depressed now. I guess there's some truth to journal therapy.
I am determined to keep my life online-free; i uninstalled windows live messenger the moment i left poly, stayed away from the laptop as much as could and spend much time with people i cared about; family mostly, friendships are a treasured though continual struggle for me. I am NOT going to be old, look back on my life and tell my grandchildren I spend half my life having tech relationships (hey that could be a good joke; I was engaged to Fujitsu for 3 years, then we broke up(he literally broke down) now I'm with Dell and having an affair with Samsung), spending half my life online. We're becoming zombies, that's what.
When i dont i spend time immersing myself in stories, or taking up new hobbies, or getting a job that makes me happy. In my case - interacting with kids. There's something about kids that makes my day, everytime. My friend puts it this way better; "when i see the kids, i forget the problems i had and its just bliss, just them and you". haha she's so right. I remember feeling like that too. At my last job when i taught kids with special needs, i was always smiling and happy at work. The feeling you get, when they sit next to you and lean to you so trustingly...or slip their hand into yours when they're happy or excited or scared...or simply just how adorable they are.
I miss them.
I found a few friends at school � they're lovely, I'm so glad to have met them. I hope to have lasting friendships with them. One of them happens to live near me haha!
I hat…I mean I dislike friendship problems in cliques. I'm terrible at dealing at problems that arise, the bigger the group the harder because a problem � such as a simple misunderstanding can be hard to solve mutually because it becomes entangled with many other members of the group.
Ok my focus is:
Do well in studies and career. Keep my friendships the best I can. Bond with my family(immediate and extended). Do and commit to my passions. Remember God with all my heart and soul. Spend my life well for myself and for others that I care for.
Hey that's weird, I don't feel too depressed now. I guess there's some truth to journal therapy.
